oh my god, you’ve been pregnant for so long… it seems like a maternity
what if the coins you find randomly at the bottom of drawers and in between couch cushions are actually from spiders trying to pay rent
“weren’t you wearing that shirt yesterday?”
wtf is homecoming?? who is coming home??? where have they been??? did they bring souvenirs??
this world is so fucked up like one of my friends has carpeting in his bathroom instead of tile like how can someone hate themselves that much